Little Surprise

Christmas is over! Yay! Frankly, it was tiring to catch up with family. Apart from one hour journey, to make conversation with cousins, uncle, and aunts can be hard. Of course it's always easy if you get along with them. But if you don't, it could be unbearably difficult. Sometimes you have one or two people in the family who are up themselves, thinking that they are fuckin' fabulous and should therefore be modeled. If they are not talking about themselves, they will brag about their kids. Anyway it's over now and time to move on! The novelty of listening to John Butler Trio's new album can surely remind me that there is a little joy at least in Christmas!

After finished working, i decided to drop by at the Asian groceries in the city. I need some spices and bottled chili sauce. The supermarket is great. It has a good varieties of Asian stuffs. Only the design is the downside of it. The shelves are build too high as high as those shelves in the state library. I thought it is funny to think that Asians are not known for having a big figure. Their average heights are not more than 160 cm.

When I walked between two tall shelves of drinks, my eyes caught a blue bottle sitting nicely in RTD (Ready To Drink) shelf where dozens of Japanese rice wine are stored. The drink is called "Tsunami" and what's more is the words underneath the name: "Big Wave of Flavour". First reaction was only smile as i could not think of any response. Strangely, the day i found this drink coincided with the date when Tsunami took place several years ago. It was Boxing Day. I am not sure what is the connection of the date when Tsunami happened and my unexpected encounter with this drink. I will leave this to clairvoyance as i don't like taking others peoples jobs. So i took one and walked to the counter.

Some might say that any moment can be interpreted as texts and reading that texts could lead us to various meaning. For hundred of thousands survivors, the disastrous wave does not have any exciting flavour but desperation, grim, grief, poignancy which stay at their life. That's perhaps what they think about the Tsunami. But for this South Australia based company which produces this drink, the meaning of tsunami is twisted, this sparkling lychee flavoured supposedly is offering a great challenge to your palate. Fear and anguish will not wash you away as the wave does. But only a great wave of flavour will as the message tries to say. Convincingly!

Tonight, the whole world will celebrate the arrival of the new year. As celebration is often associated with alcohol, this drink, if it still available, may be a good company to jazz the night up.

Anyway, i'd like to wrap this up by wishing everyone happy new year and all the best! I hope you will get a big wave of excitement and luck!

All about X-mas

“Have you done Christmas shopping yet?”, asked my friend. “No, I haven’t”. Then she sighed, “I have to do it this Friday, otherwise I won’t be able to get any presents”. Weeks before Christmas are always hectic. The town has been very busy. More people are coming down to the main town. They are flocking to department stores, crowding the bookshops, or going into electronic shops. They know that this time of year is not usual as any other time. It’s Christmas! Traditionally people have to buy presents for families and sometimes other relatives. Without presents, celebration is not complete and it may lessen the joy that Christmas should bring. Many people, of course, are aware of this and they therefore start to make a list in few weeks advance. Yet, it’s not always easy to make the list. Every one dealing with this presents-business will know that. To get presents is such a mission. It can be difficult as rescuing some backpackers who are trapped in the jungle. We have to jostle around in the shopping centre and have to be quick. Otherwise you might find empty shelfs!

Once the list is done, another problem that needs to be sorted is food. Christmas is all about big feast! What should we cook? Roast might be good but seafood is a great temptation for summer weather. Every festive season should involve food and beverage. And during Christmas food and beverage can not be neglected. Some might put aside traditional roast turkey and Christmas pudding as they are now sort of foods in a special package of Christmas function. If decision on what should be put on the table is made, then that’s enough. Do not ever worry if at the end we realise that we’ve cooked too much food. Again this is festive season, the next morning some family members who are hangover may be still having this festive spirit, at least the eating spirit. Of course, the kitchen business seems to less, if any, bother some men in the family. It’s always been mothers’ problem.

I spoke to my mum the other day about how people get stressed during Christmas in Australia. Her response surprised me. She was shocked to know that in a joyful moment like Christmas people get easily stressed. Sometimes I thought she is right. Stressfulness should not burden people during Christmas. But I reminded her that she always got uptight during Christmas although she doesn’t need to walk around the city to buy presents. She is worried about what she’d like to cook. I told her that in AustraliaChristmas is a big thing. It’s bigger than election.

In my country, we normally don’t give presents during Christmas-albeit some may give presents to others. Usually, my mum will cook up some lovely food then pack them in bowls and plates then send them to neighbours who don’t celebrate Christmas. There are coconut-milk-based curry, rice, and some other foods. Not all people doing this tradition, but my mum thought it’s always nice to do this as it strengthens the relation between neighbours. We always get some food from our Muslim neighbours when the biggest Muslim day is on. On Christmas day, we usually go to the church then get together at the oldest family member. In this case, my mum and dad are the eldest. So all family will hang out at my place.

It’s been five years I have to miss out this food-exchange ritual. I’ve got another tradition instead: buying presents for friends and others. Honestly this tradition makes me think that Christmas is all about stress. Oh no next month is Christmas! How much it’s gonna cost me?

In spite of the stressfulness that Christmas may bring, at the end people will have a merry and lovely Christmas: gathering together with the family, sharing the wonderful moment together.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE....

Finally Ousted!

Just quick post this time. The whole nation is awaiting the election result now. Yet, so far the labour party is ahead its toughest contender, the liberal.

An old bag, conservative and succesful politician John Howard is finally ousted this time after ruling the country for more than two decades. A young, fresh, clever labour candidate, Kevin Rudd will be the next prime minister of Australia. Despite slightly similarities in their policies of certain aspects, this change might be hinting at a new environment that most Australians is looking for.



We'll see how Kevin Rudd will see and plan the future of Australia.

No More Nice Guy!

Everyone is customer but not everyone is dealing with customers. To be a customer, you must know your right, according to those who champion the rights of consumer. Fair enough, i said. There are many bastards out there who only think of making their bloody wallets swollen up by ripping off the people. For instance, in some places you get charged for having strong coffee but don't get cheaper price for weak ones. Strange logic but again money rules!

However, i don't agree with a saying that says "customers are always right". No they are not always right. They can be fuckin nightmare and change your mood suddenly, from a happy camper to a nasty bitch. Once i had customer asked me as to whether we weighed the T-bone steak with the bone or not. Jesus, how could you weigh the T-bone without a bone? What do you call T-bone steak without a bone? It's called T-Bone because it has a bone which has shape of letter T. Next time, a lady said that she wanted a glass of wine but when i told her variety of wine that we had, she scoffed me. Well, sweetheart, surely you know that this restaurant is not a kind of place that sells expensive wine. Trying to up yourself by asking boutique wine in a bistro-looks-like restaurant does not impress me at all. It makes you look like a fuckin moron! Darling, i've done fine dining restaurant where a couple spend 300 dollars for two courses and dessert and a bottle of wine. These kind of people are surprisingly down to earth and generous as well, leaving me 50 to 80 dollars tip. Now, you ask only a glass of expensive wine which we dont have, and hardly leave any tips. You won't have any i am afraid apart from my sarcastic response: "i am sorry we don't have the wine that you're after but surely you know that this isn't the place that sells expensive wine".

The other thing that i hate is when i am working on coffee machine and there are always some people asking for very, very, very hot flat white. I hate doing it because the longer you heat up the milk, the more damage you cause to the milk. It ruins the texture and therefore impacts on the experience of having nice smooth froth and silky creme from the coffee. What's wrong with their taste bud? Have they eaten charcoal for breakfast so their taste bud are completely fucked? If they are nice i normally would make pattern and use the right milk, like the one on the picture. If they are rude, then they wouldn't have sort of milk that they asked for. I use full cream milk mixed with skinny if they want skinny coffee or hot chocolate. With their uncultured taste bud, wouldn't they know any different? Hell no! They might have came up to you and say: "That was fantastic coffee/hot chocolate". So you like burnt full milk then?

I think that people can be so rude and annoying because they believe the stupid adage: customers are always right! It's about power game. When you are having money, you think you have more options than bums on the street so you can ask anything you want. And you believe that it's not good for business if the service is poor. I agree service is priority and i always bear that in mind. But it does not necessarily mean that i have to sacrife my mental health.

Having experienced these awful things, i always behave and try to be considerate when i am at the restaurant. Because i know exactly how it feels when some non-entity try to get their way.

Say it right!

I haven't been able to do some writing after my last post. I am feeling guilty actually and feeling it even more guilty after one fellow blogger commented about writing my blog. It's true that i brought up issue on my writing and they gave me helpful hints about it.

I remember that the Australian government once said that fluency in English language is prerequisite for those who like to migrate to Australia. If they think language skill is necessary then they must also emphasise all migrants to naturalise their accents. Because language is not all about grammar. It is bloody difficult for the police to question people with thick accent when they committed criminal offences. You can ask centrelink staff (centrelink is sort of social security service) if talking with migrants who are unable to speak English properly give them worse headache.

Speaking of accent, misunderstanding often occur due to different pronunciation. One particular example is when a Chinese chef was asked by the staff what the soup of the day. His answer made this staff offended and abused him. Chinese people can't say R properly. Every time they say words that have letter R, it will sound like L. So when this chef says the word creamy, most Australian perhaps will hear it as cleamy. The soup of the day was creamy mushroom but this staff thought that he said: cleaning my shoes! "I am not fucking cleaning your shoes man!", she replied. Luckily, being aware of this misunderstanding, another chef said that he meant creamy mushroom not cleaning my shoes.

For people with non-speaking English background like Indonesia, the letter P and B at the end of any English words could sound similar. For Indonesians ears, the word CAP and CAB, taken out of context, will perhaps sound the same. This happened to me when i was asked to explain the salad which has Italian name on the menu. My explanation only caused laugh and giggle instead of nod. It 's crab salad! But i didn't carefully pay attention to the different pronunciation on the letter b. So it sounded like crap salad! Would like fucking turd in your salad? Other time, i spelled it out rather than said the word as i would not intent to jeopardise their appetite.

These experiences make me think that language is fascinating. It develops very quickly without us knowing which direction it will head towards, particularly in this globalised age. Although it mainly functions as a tool of communication, going deeper into its uses, language can also be linked to identity and nationalism. Tetum as nationally spoken language in East Timor was used by Timorese to resist the Indonesian domination during the invasion. When i was in Sydney, often i heard people who live in western suburb or have middle-eastern background use the word BUT at the end of the sentence. The preposition BUT replaces a proper one THOUGH. "I love it here, but". For posh this might be considered as bastardizing the English language but for them it implies their social and cultural identities. Language, in this sense, is a form of cultural resistance.

The spread of English language in the world was a result of the expansion of the British Empire (thanks to Gladstone!). Although it came from one place, later on different social and cultural histories that people have determined the different changes in language. That's why we have so many different kind of English. Modern Australian English, for instance, has a long history. In a one doc that i've watched about Aussie English, commentators suggested that children play important roles in the forming of accent. They felt that they didn't belong to their parents cultures and started to speak differently. Attempts were made to sort this out such as emphasising elocution but this seemed to fail. Most people still speak with a broad Australian accent, like John Howard. Not many people here speak like Howard's foreign minister, Alexander Downer whose English is a sort of products of standarisation in Australian English.
Now the British empire had been gone but another one appears to be more and more dominating: The USA. The American English starts to penetrate into peoples' cultures.

Having lived in Australia for five years, i pick up Australian accent. However, i am suffering from a chronic Anglophile. English accents are fascinating for me. It's hard to deny how beautiful does it sound when Kelly Brook and Rachel Weisz speak with their English accent!

Crap Part 1

I've been writing this blog since April 2006. There was a long pause after that until i began to write again in the beginning of 2007. Inspiration of getting into blogging again came from reading other bloggers. At that time i wasn't sure what i was going to write, despite i regained the spirit. So i decided to read blogs. But sometimes when you read a number of various and interesting blogs, you can feel doubt in yourself: questioning your capability to do the same, or even better. Good things do not always lead others to do the same thing.

Some bloggers are really good. I mean damn good. They are thousand good writers out there. Their writings are enjoyable to read. From my blogroll, you can see good writers there. Much Ado-Steph, Indcoup, Jakartass, John are great--albeit the latest three focuses (Indonesia) are dissimilar to the first one. When i read their writings, my eyes follow each sentence till the end. Once i've finished, i started to have a kind of mixed feelings. I am amazed and inspired but simultaneously feeling insecure about my language dexterity, writing skills and so on. I believe that writings are not merely typing any words to make up sentences then paragraph etc. It is like crafting job. There is an artistic aspect in it.

The next problem was language. I speak two languages: Indonesian and English. Which language should i write my posting with? Will it be easier for me to write in Indonesia? Yes, it will indeed. But i like challenge. So i've decided to write in English. I thought that i can use this blog as an opportunity to perfect my writing skill in English. I am aware that there are so much that i need to do to make it perfect. Readable was perhaps the most reasonable objectives for me to start. Surely, if there are some minors grammar mistakes, readers, if any, will forgive me.

Focus was another problem. Many bloggers can be really good in telling their mundane lives. Even the story of boring breakfast could arguably sound interesting. It depends how you are going to present it really. Do some food at the restaurant look boring without garnish even though it was cooked by a great chef? While i am aware of my writing difficulty in English, i also think that telling what i had for breakfast or argument that i have with my mum could be duller than in reality if i don't have 'the presentation skills'. I thought i might try something different. It is sex. Some bloggers expose their sexual lives in their blogs be it has graphic or subtle contents. No, i don't want to do that. Not because my sexual life is bad. I'd rather do something different. Even if i write about sex, i am certain that i won't be good as Abby Lee, the most popular blogger in the UK. I realise that i tend to overanalyse everything and it's quite tiring sometimes. I just can't help it. Having learnt alot about history of sexuality combined with my tendency of overanalysing things, i thought sexuality could be a great focus. Yes, history of sexuality. I thought not many people doing it. That's why this blog has more writings on sex than others topics.

For me talking about sex is interesting. It goes on without saying that nineteenth century was a period during which sexuality came to the fore. It didn't stop there, nonetheless. In today society, sexuality is still interesting to look at. Not only do people like sex but in any given society sex is a marker of morality. No matter how corrupt the government is, no matter how high the crime rates is, one sexual activity suffice to stir controversy. Look what happened to Big Brother regarding Turkey Slap incident, it caused uproar in Australia. People get shocked to what happened inside the house but no noise came out when a housemate said that he doesn't want to have sex with a fat women, let alone a whisper. It is quite often tension arose from sexuality is found in spatial level. A clear line is tried to be drawn between private and public. While some attempt to push sex back into bedroom, the others will pull it back out for a completely different reason.

Things are getting a bit more juicy, at least for myself, when race and gender are added to the heated debate on sexuality. I am amazed how blonde males got fascinated by asian girls or vive versa. Likewise, whimsy of having a great night with a black man is also inviting topic to write. I haven't touched upon transvestite and any issue akin to these sort of identities. Yet, they are surely on the list.

Well for now, i think it is enough to say about the purpose of this blog which i have appallingly forgotten to say in the early day of my blogging journey. This writing, however, is not finish yet. There will more to come in the next posting!

Finding a good hairdresser

Before i wondered why did women spend hours at hairdressers? It shouldn't be ages, should it? For me it didn't make sense if you're gonna spend hours by sitting down and reading what Princess Marry has been up to.

I always had my hair cut at the barber shop. Cheap and easy. It takes half an hour at the most. If it looks shit, you can't say a thing as with 20 dollars price, it will not give you many options. On the contrary, my girlfriend spends more than a hundred for getting it done. She came home afterward and complained about her new hair.

After a four years being a loyal customer to barber shop, i decided to take an important turn. I am going to a proper hairdresser this time. There is one particular place at Newtown, Sydney which i thought would be an honour for them to cut my hair. However, when i got there, i got freaked out. I stood there for a couple minutes then went back home.

The reason why i was worried is because i believe that hairdresser is an important element within the regime of beauty. The equipments, the people, and the products, all these things seem to make me feeling inferior. What in my head at that time was a question about myself. Once i got in and have my hair cut and styled, will i look great?

Anyway, the next day i dared myself to go and made an appointment. Bang! My name was in the list. Two days later, i went back there and there were three people having their hair cut. Once i arrived, a lady offered me to take my jacket at the back. When she came back, she asked whether i like to have a coffee or tea. "This is brilliant service", i thought. So i sat down on the chair and had a chat with my hairdresser. I told her that i'd like to try something new and never been to a proper salon before but happy with any suggestion she offered. Her response was great. She explained what she would like to do with my hair. "Ok, i am happy with that plan". Then my hair was washed and plus massage on my head before the hairdresser and her scissor do their job.

The result was great. I was happy with my hair. But the bad thing is that i get addicted to it and am getting a bit fussy with hairstyle. Hairdresser will be the place for me to cut my hair. Never go back to friendly barber shop. I like being pampered and they give it to you. Since i moved down to Melbourne, i've been to two hairdressers and they were disappointing. Strangely, my hair looked not great but was getting slightly better as it grew. I've never realised before that finding a good hairdresser and stick to it is very difficult. I feel that finding a good hairdresser is like finding future husband/wife. You have to try them and got disappointed before having a good one.

Marriage

I've been lazy posting lately. Essays have been driving me crazy! Actually i could post about anything but i am not that good in telling people about my daily life.

I never quite understand why marriage for some is important in countries where de facto relationship is widely acknowledged. In Australia, for instance, you can have long-term relationship even have children together without sacrament of marriage. Society does not have any problem with it. Even though you get knocked up then decide to carry on without getting married, there is no way people will think that you are committed to adultery. In this sense, marriage is a matter of choice.

If marriage means to have recognition from the state, in Australia social security does not discriminate the status of the couples, unless they are gay (they are pretty strict about gay which is pretty lame). You are still entitled to have family benefit from the government. I've checked Australian Family Law Act 1975 (I know this is crazy. I should not be doing a lot of research for blog posting) and found that de facto relationship is covered in the act and is treated as equally as solemnised marriage. So if society accepts it and law protects the de facto relationship, why do people want to get married?


In contrast, marriage in Indonesia or other countries where religious values and practices are common, is considered sacred. Wedding certificate is a sort of licence through which society and state recognise the status of relationship. Without it, more likely that you are likened to prostitutes. This is because pre-marital sex is perceived as cardinal sin. As marriage in countries where religious values are stronger and pre-marital sex is proscribed, then marriage seems to be a way of having a licence to shag. Underlying the sacredness of marriage is the Christian concept that sex has to be procreative, meaning that it ought to be carrying out message from God to continue life. Divorce is acceptable only by death or special circumstances. Only did church domination begin to diminish, state took responsible of dealing with marital matter.

Marriage also means to connect two families together from both side. This implies that marriage functions as social institution. And family is the smallest unit of organisation within society.

That's not fair is it? If Adam didn't get married. The snake successfully prevailed upon him to eat the apple which resulted in the first intercourse in this planet (i am not sure whether it was a good sex or not as i can't get historical record from both parties. I would, however, be very grateful if someone can share information with me about this).

So what do people want from marriage in countries like Australia, USA or England? I don't know. They don't need a licence to shag as pre-marital sex is not an issue. Perpetuating tradition could be the reason. Another possible explanation will be the image of marriage itself. People feel that long-lasting relationship is ideal and should therefore be celebrated. In popular culture, the notion of marriage as a symbol of ideal relationship can be easily found. For instance, Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty are telling about this ideal.

Yellow Peril

About two weeks ago, ABC's program MediaWatch critiqued Channel 7 report on Asian migration and its impact on Australian value. According to its report, migrants from Asia are taking over Europe and New Zealand. Well Channel 7 seems to have frequently been bias and we can take this as the fact.

The number of Asian people coming to Australia is quite large. Based on the Immigration report in 2006 around 9000 people from Southeast Asia migrated to Australia and Northeast Asia has about 7000 people. If we treat Asia as one single entity then their number will make the number of Europe migration slightly lower. However Asian can't be treated as single identity. Chinese people would not be the same as Malaysian although the latter has Chinese background. You can't make generalisation that Asians are fucking the same because they eat rice!

One concerning issue for Channel 7 was that this influx will put Australian values at peril. Evidence used to strengthen this fear is an interview with two students from China who have been living in the country for two years. They seemed to have fun with these two girls' ignorance of Pavlova and Don Bradman. "Have you listened to that, hey Aussies, these two girls don't know about Don Bradman and never heard of Pavlova! Our Nation is in a serious danger! Our Bangers and Mash soon will be replaced by rice and chicken and lemon sauce!!!" What a twat! In fact these two girls have answered some question correctly but editing process allowed them to only show the public the wrong ones. Later on, these girls sent a complaint letter to Channel 7 and have a reply explaining that they didn't mean to offend them. A second twat point for Channel 7.

I bet a number of Europeans can not understand the phrase 'flat out like a lizard drinking' or will nod surprisingly when they are told that Lamington is slang word for a kinky sex activity. How many young Australians can sing the famous song of John Farnham, 'You're the voice'? Why the expression 'awesome' are often used by young generation? Shouldn't they say 'beauty', 'ripper', or 'bonzer' to make their grandparents proud?

Have they noticed the advantages of Asian influx? Many Australians can enjoy Pad Thai as much as steak sandwich. Old bastards can play show and tell with their young Asian looking chicks when they are visiting local pubs or RSL although i find this disturbing. Mums out there will not get into trouble to find Cinderella dress for their children's dress-up collection in 2 dollars shops.

Channel 7 obviously did not take any lesson from which history offers. Fear of Asia was one of the reasons for a warmonger Robert Menzies to drag Australia into the Vietnam War. Australian values that we have now are not something invented by settlers from Briton, Wales, Ireland, and Scotland. They contributed to it but migrations from Greek, Italy, and others created interconnection of cultural practices which shape what we call now Australians values. In other words, hybridity undoubtedly characterises the rich and complex of Australian cultures.

Sex Drugs for Women

About two months ago i read an interesting article in free bulletin. In that article the editor complained about sex ads which are centred on male sexuality. I thought this is true. Today on the way to office, one ad in the newspaper saying that they can help men with erectile dysfunction problem. Once we arrive at the office and check junk mail box in hotmail account, hundreds of sex ads with various kind of sex services appear on the screen. Yet amongst them are mostly for male: penis enlargement, cheap viagra, natural pill for erection problem and so on.

The author of the article was shocked as to why men's sex problems seem to be more important. It is kind of common to hear stories of women having orgasm issue. At least once in a month, orgasm issue for women comes up in sex column of popular magazines. Does the medical industry consider this as a prospective market and come up with something that could help million women's life? I am not sure but they should consider this.

We could imagine one possible scenario where a woman can't get sexually satisfied due to her 'partner's efficiency' in time. Having asked experts and friends, the solution was to encourage him to buy viagra. However, if a woman could not have an orgasm, let alone multiple one, could she go to the chemist and say: "Excuse me, do you have something to make my sex life better?". She would have an answer to the question as follows: "Well i am sorry darling, so far most of products are designed to enhance male's sexual performance. We only have cream for treating thrush in this place!".

Having studied history, particularly on the topic of sexuality, i traced back to nineteenth century Europe to find out why this phenomenon is rampant in modern time. Back then, medical science came up with the idea that male is sexually active whereas female is passive. Accordingly it was then perceived normal for men to satisfy their urge. What's more important from this notion was that the ability to well perform in sex for men is linked to the idea of manliness. In other words, you are not a man if you don't have lust and are rubbish in sex. As the idea of male as an active sexual creature was pervasive, orgasm for female was out of the question.

Of course, this categorisation of male and female in their sexuality was extensively disputed in many respects. But this does not necessarily mean that this idea could not reappear in the future. A typical example of how this idea reappears is seen in cultural codes in sharing bed. In western countries, where European legacy was very strong, male never shares bed with other males. Generally there is a fear that your mate would try with you. Interestingly, females are at ease with the idea of sharing. Underlying males' fear is that the notion of male as an active sexual creature could be a justification for seducing another male. On the contrary, as passive sexual creatures, females may not have a good reason to be afraid of being seduced by their females' friends. So when sharing bed is brought up amongst males, they might say: "who the hell do you think i am? I am not a poof!" (poof is a derogatory term for gay, but i use this term to emphasise the nature of masculinity amongst males). For females, they can giggle and laugh in the same bed.

Now if we go back to the question raised above, the plethora of sex drugs for males could have a relation with the idea of maintaining manliness. The erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and perhaps small size are seen as threatening for males' sexuality.

So who wants to join me to demand sex drugs for women so they can have multiple orgasm?

Wanna be blonde?

I am finally recovered after four days lying in bed and fighting against bloody fever and nasty cough. Antibiotic did the trick! Imagine if there was no antibiotic invented by medical research, the previous post might have been the unexpected goodbye message from me!

After i was saddened by my misfortune of not being able to buy The Cure ticket, there another grief to bear as i also have to miss The Police Reunion Concert. For the last two weeks, i have been watching clips of The Police concert at Youtube and was thrilled to see three genius people using incredible sounds as their narratives. Superbly talented! My particular attention was drawn to Stewart Copeland, one of the best drummer in the world. Well, what can i say? I won't see them in live next year.

Now let's move on to another topic. Has anyone seen anime? This Japanese cartoon is interesting in term of creativity. Yet what makes me intrigued is that the character on this Japanese cartoon does not represent Japanese people. Mostly, in the cartoon, we can see Japanese women or men with big blue eyes, pointed noses and blonde or brunette hairs. Why their facial features are similar to what we will find in Anglo-Saxon's characters?

When i studied Japanese culture and politics at Uni, i learnt that there was a time in Japan when Japanese tried to put aside some of their cultural things and replaced them with Western ones. Kabuki, a traditional Japanese theatre was less interesting for urban society than Jazz music. Soft drinks became favourable beverage. That was back then when US arrival on Japan which consequently resulted in the opening of Japan trade to wider world. This move gave a huge impact on society.

Now after a century has passed, this anime-with-anglo-saxon-looking is kind of confusing. Is it indicating that to some extent, there is inferiority feeling within society which is reflected through this type of cartoon? Or is it just a coincidence? In real life, i often see Japanese tourists (mostly teenagers) have their hair dyed with golden blonde colour. I hope this is not because of Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan, if it so, they probably will end up in jail or rehab.

Uninvited visitor!

What i call "uninvited visitor' is the virus that causes flu and cold. Yes, they are inside my body now and have been showing their generosity by giving me fever, headache, blocked nose and aching body.

I took medicine, the strong ones. It works okay so far, but i don't know till how long. I will go back posting about sexuality soon i am recovered. Even though i am not yet recovered but at the stage of consvalescence, i try to write down some stuff.

Have a good weekend! (i don't think i will have a good one due to virus bastard!)

My dad never calls me darling!

Imagine this scenario:

Two kids, one boy and girl sat down on a tram next to their father. The girl stood up on the tram seat so that she could see anything outside from the tram. To see the excitement that his sister has from seeing through the window, the boy started to push in, made room for himself next to her sister. As she was annoyed with this, she asked him to leave. Out came a gentle voice from their father try to settle the matter. "Darling, you should share with your brother", told him to his annoyed little girl. "And you, mate, you'd better not pushing in but asking your sister nicely", added the father.

Is it great? A very understanding and calm father tried to jump into his children fight over spot at the tram. Yet if we look at a bit deeper, we would find something more fascinating than how the father handled the situation. What makes me thinking is not about the type of father or how to control your children in public space. It's rather the term of endearment that he used for his children. It is obvious that girl would be called nice thing such as 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'honey', 'sweety' (or even hunny bunny sweety pie--like this one!) and 'love'. Meanwhile, the boy should be happy with the term 'mate'. Of course boys and men can be called darling or sweetheart if these words come out from the opposite sex. Interestingly, it seems to be fine to use these nice words amongst girls. Am i right darling?

Those words by nature do not have a gender category. Our social and cultural values that give gender attributes to them. Likewise, we give the meanings to the colour blue and pink. Blue itself in the first place is not males' colour and pink does not necessarily mean 'feminine'. We created such meanings to these colours and have been making them set of rules as part of our cultural products.

So what can be learnt from the scenario above? The word mate perhaps refers to the idea of masculinity that prevails within society. Calling your son or other males mate indicate the way male treating other males. So the father tried to see his relationship with his son within this context. If the words 'darling', 'sweetheart' and other nice words are used to call his son or other males, it means that the cultural boundaries are being blurred. In most cases, people seem to be annoyed if what is widely accepted as normality being constested.

Of couse, you can call your mate darling or sweety but your friend would think that you are feminising them.

Alright, this might be confusing if we know that mothers call their sons darling. Would this mean that the mothers are perceiving them feminine? No. In this respect, the meaning of darling is utterly different to what fathers might use to their sons. It is not feminising. It is rather an indication of tenderness and caring shown by their mothers. The mothers are trying to show them that their sons are the beloved ones. It is worth to remember that meanings of the words can change depending on the context. For instance, in father-son relationship it could be a way of softening the masculinity. Yet in relationship be they heterosexual or same-sex relationship, the term 'darling', 'honey' are sort of affectionate way of expressing themselves as couples.

I shall flesh out a bit more if i have a glorious chance to do it. At the moment, i have been very busy with uni stuff.

* I tried to experiment in the kitchen departement. This time i made creamy asparagus saus on Mezzaluna.

Slackness

I know i haven't updated my blog for nearly a month. To call me slack is perhaps too nice, yet i have a very justifiable reason. I've been very busy this month: organising enrolment at new uni, getting academic transcript, renewing passport, doing job hunting and having a crowd staying at my house last weekend. Busy hey? In the middle of this hectic weeks, i collapsed for awhile. Fuckin flu virus attacked me and successfully slowed down my works. Perfect!

I have to say goodbye to Monash University this semester as i am now enrolling at LaTrobe. Latrobe is the third uni that i am getting into for the last two years. I have been in Sydney University and Monash. Don't get shock first, there is no intention for me to collect student cards from uni across Australia. I would not think to be graduated with pension card in my hand is very good idea. I am just too picky when it comes to education. That's all.

Speaking about uni, one important thing to check out at uni is the food. You know food at uni is pretty simple yet simplicity does not always go along with quality. So far, i haven't found any good food at Sydney uni although i heart the uni so much. Chips and gravy is probably the best, particularly after having third round of beer. Otherwise, sandwich with average quality will be the most sensible option. If you want to do a bit effort, you can walk up to Newtown and find dozens scrumptious take away food.

Surprisingly Monash does have a good food. Several times i enjoyed my rice with selection of pork, chicken or fish. Last week i tried noodle at Latrobe. Alas, cold made my tongue numb. The soup tasted hot and a bit spicy. Nothing much.

I thought university should think about the quality of food for their students. I know students are one group within society who live with shoe-string budget (but they drink a lot). They also must work very hard to make their lecturer happy by finishing assignment on time. To finish four essays plus two presentations that are happening at the same week are obviously not easy. It asks you to stay up till late. If they were fed with crap food at uni, imagine what kind of result that they would produce. Maybe i am thinking of sending an email to Jamie Oliver. Remember when he did a campaign called FEED ME BETTER? It was an awesome endeavour. If he had a chance to do tour around Australia and checked the food, he would probably be gobsmacked to see how educated people are fed with rubbish.

Anyway, i am a bit upset at the moment as i can't afford to buy ticket for The Cure concert. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Tracing the past

Couple days ago in a chilly night i sat down at one of stairs in my backyard having a fag. Cigarette smoke and a mug of long black were only my loyal company. After 10 minutes i enjoyed my serenity i began to question why am i here and how could i be here right now. When you start thinking of your being, there is a tendency to look back at some moments from which you could make great leaps into the future. One of the moments have something to do with your obsessions or dreams. Whether they are in your grip or not, no doubt they are essential to determine which direction your life will head toward.

Having pondered these moments, i recalled my dreams in the past. It was quite brutal i would say as though i just pulled them out and chucked them on the floors and began to enjoy this self-observation.

Once i was dying to be a guitarist. Nearly two years, the only thing that floated around my head was the obsession of being a guitarist. I hung out a lot with some dudes whom i thought were perfect guru for me. The risk was that i can get easily immersed in things. So i picked up the created-images as musicians such as long hair, alcohol, drugs as a package of truth. I grew my hair regardless my parents' mouth foaming because my bogen hair style. I popped pills, smoked join and stayed up all nights at music studio. Youth Gone Wild once Sabastian Bach of Skid Row proclaimed.

I was in a band two times. One was super amateur and happy enough with glam rocks' ballad and TOP 40's song. More Than Words, Creep and To Be With You were amongst our repertoire. To Be With You was kind of my signature song actually. Normally teenage girls are impressed and fascinated with band boys. But that canon did not work for me even though i tried hard to impress them with my hyper average guitar skills. I have another band later on but this one was more into hardrock such as Bon Jovi. The drummer was the owner of music studio. When the equipments were hired we normally prepared ourselves and tried to have a word with the organiser if we could play some tune on stage. First gig was awful as we didn't get a chance to perform. But we went on and said: fuck it. Let's do it. It was quite embarrassing actually if we realised that we played as the crowd set off the building. Amphetamine kicked in pretty quickly and gave nothing than an excitement feeling of being a superstar (I stopped this habit ages ago). Once it finished, i wished i could say to my self: superstar my arse!

The idea of being a guitar player was slowly out of my head after i left high school. Having another crowd and preoccupied with new environment were some of the reason apart from being told by some guru that i needed to work more as i have some basic skills. Feeling discouraging perhaps.

My next obsession was to be an urban planner. So i went to uni in Jakarta and attempted to major urban planning. I didn't last long there. For two years what i did just hanging around with friends although i successfully submitted my assignment. Another reason why i picked up urban planning was my parents who convinced me this kind of course would be good for my career. It would be easier to get a job when i am graduated and most importantly i was told that i could earn more money. Money was the only way to gauge success. I was actually interested in studying philosophy at that time but my dad said, "What? Are you going to ride a bike for the rest of your life?" What he meant was clear that i couldn't afford to buy anything luxurious except bike.

After two years, i asked myself whether i really wanted to do this. Was money more important than anything else in the planet? These questions drove me mad and I struggled to find satisfying answers. From there, i began to find the answers through philosophy. Maybe i would find them. Having immersed reading profound stuff, i've decided to study philosophy. After a break from uni for about two years, i enrolled philosophy course. My dad was alright with this idea as i told him that he would be free of having responsibility to pay tuition.

Spending my time in a boring school and befriend with priest-wanna-be was one of my routine for two and half years, apart from working as volunteer in a social organisation. I was quite enjoying it actually. Maybe because i can talk bullshit in a very sophisticated way and people could be impressed. The only thing i loathed was to see my uni mates from congregations who liked to wear their coats. No joking, their coats are similar to what secret sect members in Eyes Wide Shut movies wear. Creepy!

Alas, my dream of becoming philosopher ruined as i've met my Australian girlfriend and fled to Sydney. It's not about her that i discontinued my study but something else. After these failures, i dread to dream again sometimes. I thought if i let my life flowing like the water in a small creek it would not be disappointed if something happened in the future against my will. Yet i am not saying that i don't put a lot of effort into what i am aiming now...but just don't want to put high expectations on it cause I like to change my mind pretty often. Inconsistent? No, i would say. I am just getting bored easily with things. Who knows, i might get bored blogging soon...

Here i am now learning to be historian in Australia. If my dad was still alive, i would say: "Dad, you told me that i could only afford to buy a bike if i am studying philosophy. Now i am not a philosopher anymore but a would-be historian and i can't afford to buy a bike." Worse than that...i can't even afford to dream.

Black Males and their sexual myth

How does anyone see black men sexuality? Exotic? Hyper masculine? Perhaps. But one thing that black men are often associated with is their size and sexual capability. Many already rubbish such claim that size is rather important to get sexually satisfied than anything else. And more than dozens would go deeper into this superficial perspective when they see black men sexuality. Yet, it seems that wild, exotic and big size are still attached to people sexual whimsy.

Let's takes example in porn industry. Under the category of interracial sex, black men are partnered with blonde girls or viva versa. Their skin colour and body features are believed to have been sexually appealing and potent. This notion was rather new i think. It came along with imperialism and the idea of white supremacy.

I am not sure what makes such representation prevails. But i assume that the answer of such question could be traced back in history.

About a century ago, white women who went to colonies where most black people lived were strictly disallowed to mix with black men. For instance, study of John Pape about sexual regulation in Zimbabwe revealed that imprisonment was imposed to those engaged in interracial sex under a law which has passed in early 20th century. White women would be sentenced 2 years whereas black men will serve 5 years imprisonment. Meanwhile, white men either missionaries or traders had non-marriage relationship with local women. The reason was that they saw black men as such a threat to the purity (beauty) of whiteness which was represented through the women bodies. Their physical strength and athletic feature were suitable for force labor, but also might have shaped the creation of images of black men sexuality.

What interesting about the law, i think is somewhat telling the crisis of white men masculinity. The physical strength of black males threatened white men masculinity. They may have feared that black insatiable sexual desire would put any white women in danger. By passing such law, they enabled to emphasise stronger the power relationship between white and black through race and gender.

Study of Gary L Davis and Herbert J Cross (Sexual Stereotyping of Black Males in Interracial Sex) offered an interesting point as their research showed that undergraduate students linked black males with large size and sexual potency. This research could also tell us that educated people are still holding a belief of black sexuality. It may be fair to assume that the representation of black sexuality was influenced by the politics of differences carried out by colonial power.

Here i am not saying that this myth is a primary motivation for those who engage in interracial relationship. What i am saying here is that the myth does exist in white society. It even becomes one of sexual fantasies. In term of sex, sometimes we tend to try something which is seen taboo by popular norms. What is forbidded is always sweet once Nietzsche said. And having sex with black people is perhaps sweet whimsy.

Next time i will try to post about Asian fetish...

Let It Be

I like the Beatles and so are many people in the world. I could happily sing along when i hear any song from this Liverpool's boys playing either in shopping centre or anywhere else. As the Beatles fan, i would not be as clever as the judge in England who delivered the verdict using songs from the Beatles.

As quoted from Dailymirror, the judge was handling the case of stealing. Gregory Todd used 21 Beatles songs in his verdict. Check out his brilliant work.

But Montana's Judge Gregory R Todd, 56, went one better by replying: "Hey Jude, Do You Want To Know A Secret? The greatest band in history spelled its name B-e-a-t-l-e-s.

"Your response suggests there should be no consequences for your actions and I should Let It Be so you can live in Strawberry Fields Forever.

"Such reasoning is Here, There And Everywhere. It does not require a Magical Mystery Tour of interpretation to know The Word means leave it alone. I trust we can all Come Together on that meaning.

"If I were to overlook your actions I would ignore that Day In The Life on April 21, 2006. That night you said to yourself I Feel Fine while drinking beer. Later, whether you wanted Money or were just trying to Act Naturally you became the Fool On The Hill.

"As Mr Moonlight at 1:30am you did not Think For Yourself but just focused on I, Me, Mine. Because you didn't ask for Help, Wait for Something else, or listen to your conscience saying Honey Don't, the victim was later Fixing A Hole in the glass door you broke. After you stole the beer you decided it was time to Run For Your Life and Carry That Weight. But the witness said Baby It's You, the police said I'll Get You and you had to admit You Really Got A Hold On Me.

"You were not able to Get Back home because of the Chains they put on you. Although you hoped the police would say I Don't Want To Spoil The Party and We Can Work It Out you were in Misery when they said you were a Bad Boy. When they took you to jail you experienced Something New they said Hello Goodbye and you became a Nowhere Man.

Later you may have said I'll Cry Instead. Now you are saying Let It Be instead of I'm A Loser. As a result of your Hard Day's Night you are looking at a Ticket To Ride that Long And Winding Road to prison.

"Hopefully you can say both now and When I'm 64 that I Should Have Known Better."

Advertisement

Imagine if the defendant is aU2 fan, his reply might be like this:

I know i've made a mistake and I WILL FOLLOW whatever you've said. This is ONE moment that i will always remember about how BAD i was and i will not have PRIDE of it. When i stole that beer, DESIRE of doing it was stronger. My common sense could not work as if it was NUMB. I was completely lost like a traveller stuck in town WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME.

Then the police came and say: ALL I WANT IS YOU. The police arrival gave my no choice but my SURRENDER.

Soon i come out of the prison, i will be STARING AT THE SUN only to see that a BEAUTIFUL DAY is waiting for me. Although I HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR, but that won't make me finding it in MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

Clitoholic

I am inspired to write this dialog model post after reading Captain Smack posting which featured conversation between Jesus and Elvis on midget.


One day, Dickhead, a linguistic student got nothing to do during break. He has to wait for another 3 hours for next lecture. So he decided to go to the bar. Soon he arrived there, he ordered a schooner of beer and grabbed a magazine from the rack. Before reading the mag, he took his Champion Ruby out of his pocket and made a nice one roll of cigarette. His reading time was disrupted by Shithead who sit down next to him.

Shithead: "How are you mate?" Got any class today?

Dickhead: "Not too bad. Will have one in the afternoon."

Shithead: "What are you reading?" Oh no, it's crap mag. Put it away and you look so serious reading that shit."

Shithead was curious to know what makes him so serious.

Shithead: "Are you reading about sex section?"

Dickhead: "This one is interesting, you know. It's about a girl who is complaining about her boyfriend's habit during foreplay."

Shithead: "Foreplay is always interesting, isnt it?. But what makes this one deserve your attention?. Is it your girlfriend sending the letter?"

Dickhead: "No. But listen, this girl is telling that her boyfriend always goes down straight to her clitoris when they are about to start as though her body is not worth stimulation."

Shithead: "Won't blame him though. He perhaps believes that clitoris is the centre of women pleasure."

Dickhead: "Yeah, but i am thinking there might be a name for this kind of habit, you know".

Shithead: "What do you mean?"

Dickhead: "Well, like kleptomania, alcoholic and so on. If there is no term for it, it should be made up. These days people are making up new words, but they seem to forget to make this one. We have hoover, blogsphere, shagathon, and upskirting."

Shithead: "Easy, just add compound then it becomes new word, doesnt it? Like Clitmania or whatever.

Dickhead: "Clitmania might confuse with Kleptomania."

After pause for a while. Dickhead shouts.

Dickhead: "Eureka! How about clitoholic? Sounds good, doesn't it?. It is like shopaholic and alcoholic.

Shithead: "Wow, that is a good one. You are brilliant! Anyway, i was wondering if there is a name for a person who is fetishising broccoli. So the name will be broccoholic. It is like a movie title you know, Erin Broccoholic. And it's good for surname too."

Dickhead: "It is Erin Brockovich, you shithead!".

Shithead: "Oh well, maybe they're gonna make the parody version of it, like Emma Broccoholic or something. Hey...maybe we can make another one. In my gender studies class, we talk about MILF. You know, MILF is now becoming the subject of study especially after celebs having babies they are still trying to look sexually attractive."

Dickhead: "Mmm yummy mummy. I think for that one, Milfology is the most appropriate term."

Shithead: "Shit, that's awesome!". We should write that on our t-shirt. Let's do it now, i have a texter in my bag."

On Shithead t-shirt, Dickhead writes the word MILFOLOGY. After he finished and was satisfied, he asked Shithead to write CLITOHOLIC on his t-shirt.

Exam

I hate exam! Yes i really hate it. Today i had one and it felt like having the worse nightmare. No doubt i am not the one who don't like exam. Many students are perhaps having the same feeling against it.

The primary reason why i hate exam is that it freezes my brain. What i read last night or even a week before will completely be gone. Is it the pressure that makes me nervous? Perhaps. I like pressure and sometimes it makes me more productive. I heard many great thinkers (and great wankers) came up with brilliant idea when there are under pressure. Once i finished off all my 6 essays (about 15.000 words in total) in one and half month and got a satisfactory marks.

Exam is different. We only have one to two hours to write 1000-1500 words and it is handwriting. Do they know computer have been used widely in this modern world? My english knowledge is also a reason why i don't like exam. I won't be entitled to special consideration such as extra time. This rule only applies to students who have been living in Australia less than 3 years.

I prefer to write 3000 essay in 10 days than doing an hour exam. I like going to library and checking out books (as well as librarians, some of them are quite nice actually). Okay it is true and may be helpful for students to look up some tips at uni website. But not many people are able to write a concise essay in a short time.

Last year my history professor told us that he didn't want to have exam but 1000 words essay instead. Yay! And he shared his experience when he was an undergrad student in England. He had few beer before going to the class and was able to write sexual interpretation on Victorian architecture. Surprisingly he got high distinction for that. Up to now, he thought that was one of the best essay that he ever wrote.

Should i have drank beer before exam? Hell no. It would be even worse if i had some. So i have a cup of long black this morning. Was i doing well? I don't think so. Semester has finished after all.

On Culture

On several times i heard people in Melbourne said something negative about Sydney. Full on, crazy, selfish are amongst the familiar label. But what gets up my nose is when people say that Sydney has no culture. Spurious comment! I am okay with any opinion even the harshest ones as long as the foundation of the arguments are strong. In this case, i don't see that comment strong enough. What do they think of culture? It's fucking big word and it's hard to find a single definition although it is possible to have one. I share my view on culture with a Welsh guy, Raymond Williams who said that culture is ordinary. And it is also a creative process of making meanings.

What kind of culture that Melbourne have to make themselves different to Sydney? There are some similarities in its cultural practices. Both in Melb and Sydney, vegemite is not a strange thing, except for tourists. I haven't heard people in Melbourne doing a ceremony before having toast and vegemite such as circling the table three times without any clothes. They eat vegemite toast like most Melbournian do. If we agree with Williams' notion on culture, vegemite on toast is a form of cultural practices which both Sydney and Melbourne have. Claim that Sydney has no culture in this sense is self-contradiction. It is equal to say that Australia has no culture or Melbourne has no culture.

But do Melbourne have potato cake and Sydney have potato scallop? It's all fucking the same thing, isn't it? Having a different name for a fucking potato does not mean they differ significanlty in their cultures or does not justify the claim that the other does not have a culture.

Yes i agree that Melbourne is great for fashion, music and food. However, Sydneysider can find these things in their city although a little bit expensive. They differ in these forms and these differents are markedly implying that each city has its own culture.

Here i am not a Melbourne-basher nor am i Sydney defender. I indeed like Sydney but not because it is better than Melbourne in general (the weather is perfect in Sydney, actually). It is rather an emotional thing. Sydney is the city where i began to have my sphere of existence since i left my country.