He doesn't understand English

When i worked as a waitstaff two years ago, VIP customers had discussion what they'd like to drink. While one guy was busy offering drinks to his friends, i asked 'pardon me?' in order to give them a courtesy notice to make up their decisions. To which he replied, "here we go, he does not understand English". I was livid but nothing happened. My superviser was moron who didn't have guts to tell them off. So my letter below is for him, if he gets in touch with popular culture and computer-literate.

Dear Sir,

I completely realise that my knowledge of English language is far from proficient and I have been aware of this problem since I have been starting to learn English 15 years ago. I should be, however, grateful for your remark: Here we go he doesn’t understand English. This remark will remind me again the need for augmenting my language dexterity. However I am certain that the phrase ‘pardon me” is commonly used in English and I wish that I could prevail upon you to look up dictionaries. I feel deeply apologetic if my question interrupted the discussion that you and your friends have. As the discussion was primarily about what alcohol drinks you and your friends should have, my question, ‘pardon me’ was sort of courtesy reminder as to decision has been reached or not. To my surprise, the response was bewildering me: you judged my poor English ability.

I asked myself sir after that incident: should my English be categorised as incomprehensible? I am in no doubt about the answer to such question. My English is fine: understandable despite some odd phrases and sentences. In other words, it is not eloquent. Yes, sir, I have an accent. But I am not alone in this matter as you may have noticed around you. With a great pleasure, I can present some evidence before you. There were moments in my life where misunderstanding caused by my English skill occurred. I learnt from it, however. Shan’t we learn from our mistakes, shall we? If my English was incomprehensible for natives, I would not certainly be able to engage in any social occasions and most likely I would not be able to have worked and served you that night. Yet it was because of my English skill that drove my fate to have experienced your manners. I am aware of different rules applied to different circumstances. I would not use the words which should not appropriately be used in a daily conversation. Likewise, I am not inclined to use colloquialism in academic writing. Once I wrote an article in Australian magazine which was aimed at selected readers. To this point, I have not had encountered any serious problem at university which my English skill may cause.

If you notice that this may sound disdainful to you, I apologise. Honestly I am not quite at ease in telling you about my educational background. Unfortunately this is the only defence that I can think of. Some people may perhaps react in the same way when they are humiliated. The reaction is reasonable as it is meant to uplift their damaged self-esteem. Furthermore, they are reacting that way in order to feel that they are not like what other people thought. I dislike seeing myself differently from you sir. Yet I wish you perfectly understand that what I am doing now is to convince you how ‘civilised’ I am, as ‘civilised’ as you are.

Please allow me to say this; my situation now is perhaps similar to your parents when they migrated to Australia. You probably have learnt this story many times when you were little whether in dining-table or somewhere else, or, if you happened to learn history, and this story was told by your parents in their natives language. Yes sir we agreed that it was appalling moment for those who migrated here. Now it is definitely different and we are pleased to know that our generation, even the Anglo-Saxon ones, is ashamed with racialism in their national history. They learn from their dark-side of history and will guarantee to minimise any potential reoccurrence. I wish you would not have done something that was done to your parents.

While I am writing this letter to you, I have been thinking of making a solemn pledge. I will never stop telling my offspring that they must not belittle any person no matter what ethnic, religion, political view, race they belong to. I wish you would have the same hope as well.

cordially
spew-it-all