Sex, sex and sex (reposting)

What does everyone think of sex? This topic has been very interesting one. Interesting, perhaps it is because you will get millions of responses. Often with an arrogant tone, people become so judgemental when it comes to sex. I think the reason is that sex is always understood in a moral sense. The sexual practices and values are linked to a broader concept of cultural and social beliefs, values, norms in our society.

Speaking about sex, i recalled that night when K and I had a conversation about women and sex. There are some issues that we brought up: male's perspective, low-self esteem and confident with the body. I dont believe however that male's perspective is working like Adam Smith's invisible hand to permeate into women's consciousness. Of course, the existence of the male chauvinist is undeniable. This genaralisation reduces the complexity of women's sexuality into an abstract entity called male's perspective.

Sometimes some people tend to judge sexually active women for having a low self-esteem. If we see a woman confessed that she was so happy to have learnt a new technique of blowjob, it is very likely she will be labelled of having low self-esteem and reliant on sex to get appreciated by men. Is it always like that? My answer will be: DEFINITELY NOT. What is wrong of having a new headjob technique anyway? But some will argue that number of women will use sex to fulfil their emotional needs. This is myth i presume. It is like the other myth: women offer sex for love and men give love for sex. In this sense, women do not sex as it is merely a mean of achieving something else (love). On the contrary, men do not need love as they seek for sex. Wait a minute! Women can enjoy sex without love, cant they? So do men. They can be emotianally needy.

We are now surrounded by the hype of DIY (Do it yourself). In a virtual world, i saw many girls, couples, and men have their own websites or blogs. They happily shares their sexual fantasy, stories or even advertise themselves to find a sleeping partner. This must have given a serious blow to porn industry. People are claiming their spaces but not for the market. Its rather to make an extraordinary journey of exploring their sexuality. From these instances, shall we assume that they are driven by male's perspective?

It has been a long time that women have been sexually surpressed. Thanks to sexual liberation! In the past, they couldnt express themselves freely. Medical scientists judgement of women as sexually passive is kind of a conspiracy. But these days, many find that women should not express themselves freely in respect to their sexuality. Otherwise, they are likened to a slut. It bugs me to know that some will grab a Victorian goggles to see girls these days outragesly showing their flesh to the public. Ariel Levy grumbled and is gobsmacked by these phenomenon then spoke of the peril of raunchy culture. I cant be sure if raunchy cultures will produce a raunchy kid, neither can she, i presume.

Some stupid and narrow-minded people will claim that exhibitionist tendency contributed to the increasing number of rape cases. Where is the data? You can't convince someone without giving any relevant statistical figures.

I am influenced by Foucauldian thought in this matter. Discourses on sexuality produce knowledge about sexuality and create boundaries upon which society should hold.

Living in a country with a vastly different culture to mine, i began to learn about how our knowledge of western world is misleading. The idea of 'Free Sex' which many Indonesian parents will be aware of its danger, is not widely subscribed. Many are happy to have a monogamous relationship be they gay or not. But many will be okay with the idea of a casual sex. I'd rather think sex as kind of pleasure and have to be satisfied in an appropriate way when you have the urge to do it. Most importantly, women who are sexually active are not definitely sluts. They just want to feel the pleasure as men do.