Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Crap Part 1

I've been writing this blog since April 2006. There was a long pause after that until i began to write again in the beginning of 2007. Inspiration of getting into blogging again came from reading other bloggers. At that time i wasn't sure what i was going to write, despite i regained the spirit. So i decided to read blogs. But sometimes when you read a number of various and interesting blogs, you can feel doubt in yourself: questioning your capability to do the same, or even better. Good things do not always lead others to do the same thing.

Some bloggers are really good. I mean damn good. They are thousand good writers out there. Their writings are enjoyable to read. From my blogroll, you can see good writers there. Much Ado-Steph, Indcoup, Jakartass, John are great--albeit the latest three focuses (Indonesia) are dissimilar to the first one. When i read their writings, my eyes follow each sentence till the end. Once i've finished, i started to have a kind of mixed feelings. I am amazed and inspired but simultaneously feeling insecure about my language dexterity, writing skills and so on. I believe that writings are not merely typing any words to make up sentences then paragraph etc. It is like crafting job. There is an artistic aspect in it.

The next problem was language. I speak two languages: Indonesian and English. Which language should i write my posting with? Will it be easier for me to write in Indonesia? Yes, it will indeed. But i like challenge. So i've decided to write in English. I thought that i can use this blog as an opportunity to perfect my writing skill in English. I am aware that there are so much that i need to do to make it perfect. Readable was perhaps the most reasonable objectives for me to start. Surely, if there are some minors grammar mistakes, readers, if any, will forgive me.

Focus was another problem. Many bloggers can be really good in telling their mundane lives. Even the story of boring breakfast could arguably sound interesting. It depends how you are going to present it really. Do some food at the restaurant look boring without garnish even though it was cooked by a great chef? While i am aware of my writing difficulty in English, i also think that telling what i had for breakfast or argument that i have with my mum could be duller than in reality if i don't have 'the presentation skills'. I thought i might try something different. It is sex. Some bloggers expose their sexual lives in their blogs be it has graphic or subtle contents. No, i don't want to do that. Not because my sexual life is bad. I'd rather do something different. Even if i write about sex, i am certain that i won't be good as Abby Lee, the most popular blogger in the UK. I realise that i tend to overanalyse everything and it's quite tiring sometimes. I just can't help it. Having learnt alot about history of sexuality combined with my tendency of overanalysing things, i thought sexuality could be a great focus. Yes, history of sexuality. I thought not many people doing it. That's why this blog has more writings on sex than others topics.

For me talking about sex is interesting.
It goes on without saying that nineteenth century was a period during which sexuality came to the fore. It didn't stop there, nonetheless. In today society, sexuality is still interesting to look at. Not only do people like sex but in any given society sex is a marker of morality. No matter how corrupt the government is, no matter how high the crime rates is, one sexual activity suffice to stir controversy. Look what happened to Big Brother regarding Turkey Slap incident, it caused uproar in Australia. People get shocked to what happened inside the house but no noise came out when a housemate said that he doesn't want to have sex with a fat women, let alone a whisper. It is quite often tension arose from sexuality is found in spatial level. A clear line is tried to be drawn between private and public. While some attempt to push sex back into bedroom, the others will pull it back out for a completely different reason.

Things are getting a bit more juicy, at least for myself, when race and gender are added to the heated debate on sexuality. I am amazed how blonde males got fascinated by asian girls or vive versa. Likewise, whimsy of having a great night with a black man is also inviting topic to write. I haven't touched upon transvestite and any issue akin to these sort of identities. Yet, they are surely on the list.

Well for now, i think it is enough to say about the purpose of this blog which i have appallingly forgotten to say in the early day of my blogging journey. This writing, however, is not finish yet. There will more to come in the next posting!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Finding a good hairdresser

Before i wondered why did women spend hours at hairdressers? It shouldn't be ages, should it? For me it didn't make sense if you're gonna spend hours by sitting down and reading what Princess Marry has been up to.

I always had my hair cut at the barber shop. Cheap and easy. It takes half an hour at the most. If it looks shit, you can't say a thing as with 20 dollars price, it will not give you many options. On the contrary, my girlfriend spends more than a hundred for getting it done. She came home afterward and complained about her new hair.

After a four years being a loyal customer to barber shop, i decided to take an important turn. I am going to a proper hairdresser this time. There is one particular place at Newtown, Sydney which i thought would be an honour for them to cut my hair. However, when i got there, i got freaked out. I stood there for a couple minutes then went back home.

The reason why i was worried is because i believe that hairdresser is an important element within the regime of beauty. The equipments, the people, and the products, all these things seem to make me feeling inferior. What in my head at that time was a question about myself. Once i got in and have my hair cut and styled, will i look great?

Anyway, the next day i dared myself to go and made an appointment. Bang! My name was in the list. Two days later, i went back there and there were three people having their hair cut. Once i arrived, a lady offered me to take my jacket at the back. When she came back, she asked whether i like to have a coffee or tea. "This is brilliant service", i thought. So i sat down on the chair and had a chat with my hairdresser. I told her that i'd like to try something new and never been to a proper salon before but happy with any suggestion she offered. Her response was great. She explained what she would like to do with my hair. "Ok, i am happy with that plan". Then my hair was washed and plus massage on my head before the hairdresser and her scissor do their job.

The result was great. I was happy with my hair. But the bad thing is that i get addicted to it and am getting a bit fussy with hairstyle. Hairdresser will be the place for me to cut my hair. Never go back to friendly barber shop. I like being pampered and they give it to you. Since i moved down to Melbourne, i've been to two hairdressers and they were disappointing. Strangely, my hair looked not great but was getting slightly better as it grew. I've never realised before that finding a good hairdresser and stick to it is very difficult. I feel that finding a good hairdresser is like finding future husband/wife. You have to try them and got disappointed before having a good one.

Monday, October 01, 2007


I've been lazy posting lately. Essays have been driving me crazy! Actually i could post about anything but i am not that good in telling people about my daily life.

I never quite understand why marriage for some is important in countries where de facto relationship is widely acknowledged. In Australia, for instance, you can have long-term relationship even have children together without sacrament of marriage. Society does not have any problem with it. Even though you get knocked up then decide to carry on without getting married, there is no way people will think that you are committed to adultery. In this sense, marriage is a matter of choice.

If marriage means to have recognition from the state, in Australia social security does not discriminate the status of the couples, unless they are gay (they are pretty strict about gay which is pretty lame). You are still entitled to have family benefit from the government. I've checked Australian Family Law Act 1975 (I know this is crazy. I should not be doing a lot of research for blog posting) and found that de facto relationship is covered in the act and is treated as equally as solemnised marriage. So if society accepts it and law protects the de facto relationship, why do people want to get married?

In contrast, marriage in Indonesia or other countries where religious values and practices are common, is considered sacred. Wedding certificate is a sort of licence through which society and state recognise the status of relationship. Without it, more likely that you are likened to prostitutes. This is because pre-marital sex is perceived as cardinal sin. As marriage in countries where religious values are stronger and pre-marital sex is proscribed, then marriage seems to be a way of having a licence to shag. Underlying the sacredness of marriage is the Christian concept that sex has to be procreative, meaning that it ought to be carrying out message from God to continue life. Divorce is acceptable only by death or special circumstances. Only did church domination begin to diminish, state took responsible of dealing with marital matter.

Marriage also means to connect two families together from both side. This implies that marriage functions as social institution. And family is the smallest unit of organisation within society.

That's not fair is it? If Adam didn't get married. The snake successfully prevailed upon him to eat the apple which resulted in the first intercourse in this planet (i am not sure whether it was a good sex or not as i can't get historical record from both parties. I would, however, be very grateful if someone can share information with me about this).

So what do people want from marriage in countries like Australia, USA or England? I don't know. They don't need a licence to shag as pre-marital sex is not an issue. Perpetuating tradition could be the reason. Another possible explanation will be the image of marriage itself. People feel that long-lasting relationship is ideal and should therefore be celebrated. In popular culture, the notion of marriage as a symbol of ideal relationship can be easily found. For instance, Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty are telling about this ideal.