Crap Part 1

I've been writing this blog since April 2006. There was a long pause after that until i began to write again in the beginning of 2007. Inspiration of getting into blogging again came from reading other bloggers. At that time i wasn't sure what i was going to write, despite i regained the spirit. So i decided to read blogs. But sometimes when you read a number of various and interesting blogs, you can feel doubt in yourself: questioning your capability to do the same, or even better. Good things do not always lead others to do the same thing.

Some bloggers are really good. I mean damn good. They are thousand good writers out there. Their writings are enjoyable to read. From my blogroll, you can see good writers there. Much Ado-Steph, Indcoup, Jakartass, John are great--albeit the latest three focuses (Indonesia) are dissimilar to the first one. When i read their writings, my eyes follow each sentence till the end. Once i've finished, i started to have a kind of mixed feelings. I am amazed and inspired but simultaneously feeling insecure about my language dexterity, writing skills and so on. I believe that writings are not merely typing any words to make up sentences then paragraph etc. It is like crafting job. There is an artistic aspect in it.

The next problem was language. I speak two languages: Indonesian and English. Which language should i write my posting with? Will it be easier for me to write in Indonesia? Yes, it will indeed. But i like challenge. So i've decided to write in English. I thought that i can use this blog as an opportunity to perfect my writing skill in English. I am aware that there are so much that i need to do to make it perfect. Readable was perhaps the most reasonable objectives for me to start. Surely, if there are some minors grammar mistakes, readers, if any, will forgive me.

Focus was another problem. Many bloggers can be really good in telling their mundane lives. Even the story of boring breakfast could arguably sound interesting. It depends how you are going to present it really. Do some food at the restaurant look boring without garnish even though it was cooked by a great chef? While i am aware of my writing difficulty in English, i also think that telling what i had for breakfast or argument that i have with my mum could be duller than in reality if i don't have 'the presentation skills'. I thought i might try something different. It is sex. Some bloggers expose their sexual lives in their blogs be it has graphic or subtle contents. No, i don't want to do that. Not because my sexual life is bad. I'd rather do something different. Even if i write about sex, i am certain that i won't be good as Abby Lee, the most popular blogger in the UK. I realise that i tend to overanalyse everything and it's quite tiring sometimes. I just can't help it. Having learnt alot about history of sexuality combined with my tendency of overanalysing things, i thought sexuality could be a great focus. Yes, history of sexuality. I thought not many people doing it. That's why this blog has more writings on sex than others topics.

For me talking about sex is interesting. It goes on without saying that nineteenth century was a period during which sexuality came to the fore. It didn't stop there, nonetheless. In today society, sexuality is still interesting to look at. Not only do people like sex but in any given society sex is a marker of morality. No matter how corrupt the government is, no matter how high the crime rates is, one sexual activity suffice to stir controversy. Look what happened to Big Brother regarding Turkey Slap incident, it caused uproar in Australia. People get shocked to what happened inside the house but no noise came out when a housemate said that he doesn't want to have sex with a fat women, let alone a whisper. It is quite often tension arose from sexuality is found in spatial level. A clear line is tried to be drawn between private and public. While some attempt to push sex back into bedroom, the others will pull it back out for a completely different reason.

Things are getting a bit more juicy, at least for myself, when race and gender are added to the heated debate on sexuality. I am amazed how blonde males got fascinated by asian girls or vive versa. Likewise, whimsy of having a great night with a black man is also inviting topic to write. I haven't touched upon transvestite and any issue akin to these sort of identities. Yet, they are surely on the list.

Well for now, i think it is enough to say about the purpose of this blog which i have appallingly forgotten to say in the early day of my blogging journey. This writing, however, is not finish yet. There will more to come in the next posting!